Meditation is a practice that involves training the mind to achieve a state of relaxation, focus, and heightened awareness. It has been associated with various health benefits, including stress reduction, improved concentration, better emotional well-being, and even physical health benefits. It has been practiced for thousands of years, across different cultures and religions, though it is most associated with its Indian roots and also with Buddhism.
The goals of meditation are to quiet the mind, reduce stress, and enhance mental clarity. Who wouldn’t want such an experience? However, the idea of sitting quietly and focusing the mind on one’s inner experience, rather than on practical thoughts, is a struggle for many in Western societies. I personally struggled with meditation when I first tried it, and have since had many clients tell me they’ve tried it and it doesn’t work for them, or it’s just not “for” them. If that resonates with you, I hope in this post to convince you to give it another try– I’ve found that with a bit of explanation, you may be able to get past the mental blocks you have in place, and allow you to experience the benefits of meditation.
There is Value in Tuning Out, and Tuning In In a Different Way
The best advice I received to combat this sense of “meditation doesn’t work for me,” is that it takes practice. The therapist who told me this said, “It may not work the first time, it may not work the first 20 times. But hang in there, it’s worth it.” Knowing that “failing” at it a handful of times (or more!) didn’t mean that it would never work for me was so helpful.
Western societies are fueled on anxiety and the sense that if we aren’t thinking about all of the many things we could or should be doing, that we are wasting time. Meditation poses an alternative possibility: that it is valuable to spend time and energy on observing our feelings and sensations in this moment, rather than thinking to the near future of what tasks need completing. Understandably, it takes some retraining to un-learn the idea that you are wasting time and to test out this alternative perspective.
What To Do When You Find Yourself Getting Distracted
When people say that meditation doesn’t work for them, they usually mean that they’ve tried it and they find themselves easily getting distracted or impatient. Actually– that’s okay! It is totally consistent with the practice of meditation to notice if moments occur where you are getting distracted. If that happens, simply acknowledge the distraction to yourself without judgment or frustration, and then attempt to refocus. If you have a hard time refocusing, acknowledge that you are finding it difficult and keep trying. This may literally mean saying to yourself, “I acknowledge a distracting thought. I see that it is there, and yet I am also going to try to get back to what I am trying to do,” or “I acknowledge that the distracting thought isn’t going away. I see it, but I am not put off by its presence. It’s okay that it is there, but I am going to do the best I can to focus on my meditation exercise.” Often simply acknowledging the presence of the distracting thought pacifies it enough that it does not scream for your further attention, and it also feels empowering to be able to choose what you focus on rather than have your thoughts control you.
How Do I Meditate?
There are different meditation techniques, but most involve finding a quiet space, getting comfortable, and directing your attention to a specific focal point. This could be your breathing, a mantra (a meaningful phrase or idea), or the sensations of your body, as examples. Google and Youtube have many examples of meditation exercises you can try, so I encourage you to check them out and find a few that you like. Here I’ll share with you my favorite meditation, which is sensory-based, meaning it asks you to focus on your five senses, although in this particular exercise you will be focusing on imagining what those senses would be experiencing in a happy place of our own imagination.
First, find a quiet space where you can have a few uninterrupted minutes, and then get comfortable. After you’ve done that, read on to give this meditation exercise a try.
My Favorite Meditation: A Sensory Vacation
Actually, I think of my favorite sensory meditation as a brief vacation. I know it will sound hard to believe, but it really does feel comparable to the level of refreshing I feel on vacation, with the added bonuses of being way less expensive and with no travel time or hassles involved. A serious return on investment! You can do it for just a few minutes, or longer if you have the time and would like to spend more time in this state. Sometimes people get so relaxed they lose track of time or even become so relaxed they fall asleep! If the thought of that happening worries you, it might become a barrier to being able to focus on the meditation activity, so decide how long you’d like to spend trying this– I recommend 5 minutes, but you could do more or less– and you can even set an alarm if you’d like, so you can free your mind of the worry associated with getting immersed in meditation.
Once you have found a private, quiet space, decide where you will be taking your mental vacation. It can be to a place you actually know or a place you’ve never been. Throughout the explanation, I’ll give examples to help you understand. Have you decided on a destination where you will be spending a few minutes? My place is a beach.
Having picked out your mental destination away from the stressors of your day to day, minute to minute life, close your eyes and take a few deep, slow breaths, taking a few seconds to breathe in, a few seconds to hold the breath, and a few seconds to breathe out. Notice the calm that comes with controlled breathing.
Now it’s time to bring in your senses, which you will do one by one. It doesn’t matter which sense you bring in first, so go with whichever comes to you.
On your next breath in (aim to keep breathing slow, steady breaths throughout), maybe you decide to start with vision: what would you see in your imaginary safe space? At the beach in my mind, I don’t see anyone other than me. I see a calm day, with waves lazily lapping on the shore. The sky is a brilliant blue with a few wispy, scattered clouds. I see the pale sand and the dark blue water stretching out to the horizon; I also see the rising and receding sea foam as the water meets the shore.
After you feel you can clearly see the scene, on the next breath in add a new sense. For me, sound is next: I hear the calm, rhythmic lapping of the waves, and the hushed sizzle of the seafoam. I also hear people laughing and sounding joyful off in the distance, with no sense of them approaching my space.
In this exercise, we are adding to our sensory sensations, not replacing one with another, so as you are hearing the sounds, also be aware of the sights. You will continue to add on throughout the exercise, so that you are experiencing multiple sensory sensations all at the same time.
After you feel you can see and hear your surroundings, notice another sense. For me, next I feel tactile sensations: the feeling of my fingers running through soft, warm grains of sand, the feeling of the sun on my skin, of a gentle breeze. I focus on the feeling of the sun’s warmth as I continue to notice the sounds and sights (modifications that make you feel more relaxed are welcome: on my imaginary beach I often imagine myself with my eyes closed, so after having initially taken in the sights, by this point I may only be experiencing the tactile sensations and sounds).
When you are ready, on your next breath, notice another sense. For me, I smell the salt air. I smell a very faint scent of coconut-scented sunscreen. I still notice a breeze, feel my fingers lightly raking the sand, and hear the gentle waves.
After having enjoyed those sensations for a few moments, add in your final sense on your next breath. For me, taste doesn’t typically factor into my scene much, except maybe the faint taste of the salt in the air. Maybe sometimes I would also taste the flavor of a cool drink, also noticing its temperature and the feel of cool, wet condensation as I hold it, the slowness of a leisurely sip. All the while, still observing the faint sounds of other people enjoying themselves at a distance, the softly breaking waves, the warmth of the sun, the smell of the salt air, the relaxed state of my limbs, the muscles of my lips pulling into a slight smile as I enjoy it all.
And you stay there for a time– as long as you like or have available, just noticing your sensory experiences in your imagined vacation destination.
When you feel ready, prepare to leave your meditative space. Take several slow breaths and enjoy the sensory experiences as you prepare for your transition back to the world outside of your mind. You can even “pack up” and walk away in your mind’s eye, or say “until soon,” to the space, knowing you can visit again anytime.
Open your eyes. Notice how you feel throughout your body. Notice how you feel within your mind. Notice your level of calm, your level of restored energy.
And now the million dollar question: were you able to meditate? Even if not perfectly, were you able to intentionally focus your thoughts on this experience, and do you notice an actual difference in how you are feeling?
I hope you feel rested and refreshed. The world of your mind is real, and I hope you were able to enjoy the benefits it has to offer, and that it helped you feel more equipped to engage with the world around you as well. Remember, you can come back anytime.
Michelle Lange, Psy.D., is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the owner of Relaction Therapy, providing mental health and wellness consultation services. Visit relaction.us to book a session or consultation appointment.
Image credit: Jared Rice via Unsplash
More on meditation: Sharma, H. (2015). Meditation: Process and effects. Ayu 36(3), 233–237.
Shout out to one of my earliest mentors, Dr. Randolph Lee of Trinity College, for sharing this sensory meditation exercise with me.
